June 20 Sabbath Message - The Power of the Father's Embrace
Preparing the Heart
Opening Hymn
Opening Prayer
Scripture Reading
13"Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. 14After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. 15So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. 16He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.
17"When he came to his senses, he said, 'How many of my father's hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! 18I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. 19I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.' 20So he got up and went to his father.
"But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.
Message
Father’s Day presents us with an opportunity to look at the essential role of fathers in our lives. Fathers are part of God's plan for the human family. God chose to bring life into this world through male and female conduits...fathers and mothers. When a new baby is born into this world, the parents mirror the creative process of God. The masculine and feminine combine and instill a part of each into a new form. Each new birth provides us with an intimate glimpse of the mystery of creation. In an ideal world, God's divine plan would continue after the birth "on earth as it is in heaven." Each child would be born into a loving family. Each child would be raised with human parents who mirror all the attributes of the Heavenly Parents. Then through the examples of their human parents, children would have an innate understanding of our sweet Holy Spirit Mother and our kind generous Heavenly Father in Heaven.
Unfortunately, we do not live in an ideal world. Even for well-intentioned parents, it is an impossible task to be a perfect role model. Firstly, even though we are God's children, the Divine Spirit within us is encased in an earthly vessel. In other words, we are human! Secondly we do not live in a society that is conducive to good parenting. It is fast paced, hectic and full of stress. Often, both parents have to work (sometimes two jobs) just to meet the physical needs of the family. Modern society is even less conducive to good fathering. Fathers as a whole have not steered child-rearing in our culture. The mothers are in the driver's seat and the fathers are relegated the back seat. Only 2 or 3 children out of a hundred, when teenagers, spent more quality time with their fathers than with their mothers. We are a generation of under-fathered children.
Fathers are no longer considered the hub of the family wheel. It is as if having a father present in the household is a nice accessory but not essential. He provides extra financial stability and hangs around in the background doing ancillary functions. To quote from the columnist. Erma Bombeck, "What do fathers do? As far as I could observe, they brought around the car when it rained so everyone else could stay dry. They always took the family pictures, which is why they were never in them. They carved turkeys on Thanksgiving, kept the car gassed up, weren't afraid to go into the basement, mowed the lawn, and tightened the clothesline to keep it from sagging."
Some fathers have internalized this belief that they are not that important in the lives of their kids. We have more absentee Dads than ever before. Statistics state that 28% of children today grow up in fatherless homes. Some Dads are present but not emotionally available. Many men have no role models of loving fathers so they have no understanding of how to relate to their children. Children grow up living with their fathers but never really knowing them.
Some fathers have tried to take on a more central role in the family. However, their efforts are misguided. In trying to help the household run more smoothly, some Dads think they have to do more things...help with dishes or cook dinner or do laundry. The real need is for fathers to play a central role in family relationships...not just perform tasks. Yes, life is busy and tasks have to be done. The key is to not sacrifice the important on the alter of the urgent. The pile of dirty dishes in the sink may be screaming to be washed but that is not really important. Five minutes spent really listening to a child's story about school, singing a lullaby to a baby, or taking the time to correctly discipline a rowdy little one, is truly important.
The truth is children need a loving father in their lives. It is as essential to their emotional growth as food is to their physical growth. The devastation wrought by growing up in fatherless homes has been quantified by many research studies. The video at the end of the service will review some of the statistics. The important point for this message, however, is that the role of a human father is to be a physical embodiment of the love of the Heavenly father. It is an ordained responsibility for the privilege of bringing a new life into this world. There are no excuses allowed. Men who have not grown up with good male role models can still be good Dads. It is a little more difficult but the Holy Spirit and the scriptures can provide all the guidance that they need. For instance, Yeshua provides an example of a proper attitude toward children in Luke. When the children were brought to him to be blessed, the disciples thought Yeshua was too busy to waste His time with children. They rebuked those who brought the little ones. Yeshua had a different view though. He said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."
Our best example of fatherhood, of course, is our Father in heaven. We find examples of God as a loving father throughout scripture. One good portrayal of the Heavenly Father is Yeshua's parable in our scripture reading above of the Prodigal Son. The reason this story is so universally applicable is that virtually everybody experiences what the prodigal son experienced. There comes a time in everyone's life where we are sure we know better than our parents. We have it all figured out.
As we read, the son goes off into a far country and squanders all his money. When he runs out of money he runs out of friends. He ends up in a hog wallow, eating from the slop that is fed to the pigs. As he sits there the story says, “He came to himself.” And he starts thinking, “How many of my father’s hired men have food to spare? And here I am, starving to death. I will go back to my father.”
Now notice something important. He felt that he COULD go back to his father. He was not sure the relationship could be the same after his actions but he knew the door was open to him. How did he know that? All through the time of raising his son the father must have communicated his love. “No matter how far you go, you can always come back home again.” That unconditional love of Father God is the most vital thing that a human Dad can communicate to his children.
You know, the beautiful part of the story is that father's embrace. There is no experience that is more satisfying to the soul of a child. To a child, a father's embrace embodies all the strength, security, protection, and assurance of abiding love. The hug says, " You are my beloved child in whom I am well pleased". It is an embrace that heals what ever hurts. It makes you whole.
For many of you Fathers' Day is not easy. Some of you had bad relationships with your fathers. Some of you even had abusive or violent fathers. Some of you never knew your fathers. A few of you may not have known your Dad - even if you lived with him. You had Dads who were physically present but not accessible. I understand this last condition. I never knew my father, even though we lived in the same home for 18 years. My father was in the military so he was away from home often. Even when he was home, he was not really there. He was remote and aloof. He never said he loved me. He never initiated physical contact. When I went to hug him, he became stiff and grunted like I was hurting him.
To all of you who had bad Dads or no Dads, my heart cries for you. I understand what it like to be an emotional orphan....to never have felt the unconditional love of a father. You and I...we have spent our lives hoping for someone to come running towards us. Our souls ached for our Dad's arms to be wrapped around us...and the hug never came. For those of us with absent or emotionally unavailable fathers, the little child inside of us has been starved of love and we are so hungry! Sometimes we try to hide that child behinds self -imposed walls of indifference but the hurt emerges unexpectedly. For those who had hurtful or violent Dads, those souls have a double injury. They are not only starved but wounded as well. With time the wounds heal but the scars are still there just under the surface and under the right circumstances, those scars open very easily. And for all of us who are fatherless children, it is hard to trust, to open up, to allow ourselves to love after having been betrayed so badly by the one that was so central to our psyche.
The good news is that you CAN heal if you allow yourself that opportunity. The Heavenly Father is waiting to be you loving Dad if you let Him. How do you learn to trust him though when you have never had a positive experience with a male authority figure in your life. How do you get the strength to make that long walk from where you are in life, into the Father's arms? It is easy. Get to know the Mother. Your Mother will introduce you to the Father. Learn to bask in the Holy Spirit Mother. Feel her presence. She is so sweet and gentle. Talk to Her, lean on Her. She will heal the hurts, and help you see your human fathers with forgiving eyes, understanding their flaws. Then you will see that their inadequacies are NOT your fault. As you gain confidence in yourself you will be able to share Her love with others. When you are ready She will lead you to your dear loving Fathers arms... and you will be whole.
Before we close the message, I would like to leave you with some more wisdom about fathers from Erma Bombeck "If I had to tell someone's son what a father really does that is important, it would be that he shows up for the job in good times and bad times. He's a man who is constantly being observed by his children. They learn from him how to handle adversity, anger, disappointment and success.
He won't laugh at their dreams no matter how impossible they might seem. He will dig out at 1 a.m. when one of his children runs out of gas. He will make unpopular decisions and stand by them. When he is wrong and makes a mistake, he will admit it. He sets the tone for how family members treat one another, members of the opposite sex and people who are different than they are. By example, he can instill a desire to give something back to the community when its needs are greater than theirs.
But mostly, a good father involves himself in his kids' lives. The more responsibility he has for a child, the harder it is to walk out of his life.
A father has the potential to be a powerful force in the life of a child. Grab it! Maybe you'll get a greeting card for your efforts. Maybe not. But it's steady work."
Happy Father's Day, Dads! and live up to your potential! Your kids need you.
Celebratory Hymn
Discussion of the Message
Closing Prayer
Bless the fathers that are reading this today
Some of them delight in their fathering; for others it's hard, perhaps very hard.
They are wounded themselves and are trying not to wound their own children.
Help them in their trials. Forgive them in their failures and help them forgive themselves.
Help us - all of us - to forgive our own fathers for their faults and failings.
and when we are hurting or lose our way,
guide us home,
wrap your arms around us
and make us whole in You
Closing Meditation
Closing Hymn
Click on the title below. Sing along with Hymn. Leave in the arms of your Father's love. Then, as His child, reach out a hand of love to others this week.
